Diamonds Are Forever
My rating: 2.5 out of 5 stars
The sixth and final official appearance of the man who made the character famous came after his replacement left the franchise resulting in the studio demanding Sean Connery’s return for Diamonds Are Forever. The film based on the fourth Ian Fleming novel and the seventh in the overall film franchise was a good adaptation but it’s uneven pacing and poor plotting created unfortunate swansong for the original James Bond.
After a worldwide pursuit, James Bond finds Ernst Stavro Blofeld at a facility were “look-alikes” were being surgically created killing a test subject and the “real” Blofeld in superheated mud. Once his revenge mission is complete, M assigns Bond to investigate a diamond smuggling ring beginning in South Africa and going through Amsterdam to an unknown destination. As Bond takes the place of smuggler Peter Franks, assassins Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd are shown meeting and killing successive handlers of the diamonds including the last in Amsterdam. Bond-as-Franks meets Tiffany Case who’ll give him the diamonds and the destination when the real Franks shows up forcing Bond to kill him and switching IDs with him. Case and he then fly to Los Angeles with the diamonds in the real Franks’ corpse with Wint & Kidd also on the plane, but on arrival Bond and the CIA switch the diamonds to fakes before the mob-owned funeral home employees pick up the casket and travel with Bond to Las Vegas. Franks’ body is cremated to secure the diamonds and Bond is paid only to be attacked by Wint & Kidd but saved by the mob runner because they found out the diamonds were fake. The mob runner is a comedian at The Whyte House, owned by the young eccentric Willard Whyte, but Bond gets there after Wint & Kidd who were only told the diamonds were fake after doing the job. Going to his room, Bond’s pick up for the night is thrown out the window by the mob and he’s left alone with Tiffany for the night. Bond sends Tiffany to Circus Circus to retrieve the diamonds, but she escapes her CIA tail. However, Bond is waiting for her along with the corpse of his pick up the night before who was mistaken for Tiffany by Wint & Kidd. Tiffany and Bond go to the next drop off and follow the diamonds to just outside the Whyte House and then to a Whyte science research facility that Bond gets into and then races out of with security on his tail. After escaping security, Bond and Tiffany escape a six-vehicle car chase with the sheriffs’ department before Bond infiltrates the penthouse of The Whyte House to find Blofeld and one of his doubles. Bond kills the double but is knocked out and given over to Wint & Kidd who dispose him in a sewer pile that is buried by a construction crew. Bond disables the wielding machine and gets out of the sewer piles by a manhole opened by technicians there to repair it then tricks Blofeld in revealing where Whyte is being held and after fighting his “jailers” gets the eccentric billionaire released. Whyte helps Bond and CIA figure out that Blofeld has created a laser satellite weapon to blackmail the superpowers—white lying to the pacifist scientist who helped him—as well as the location Blofeld is controlling the satellite, an oil rig off Baja. Bond drops in on the rig and his shown around by Blofeld, but his attempt to switch computer tapes fails. Yet Bond had signaled the U.S. Army to attack the rig and in the chaos traps Blofeld in his escape sub then crashed it into the control room to blow up the rig and kill the satellite. Bond and Tiffany decide to cruise back to London, but Wint & Kidd attempt to kill them only to be finished off by Bond.
Coming in at an even two hours, Diamonds Are Forever was for the first three-quarters of it’s length a quick paced journey and storytelling that was very engaging but then suddenly slowed down in the final half-hour to a crawl. This change of pace allowed the flaws of the story to really come to life and frankly revealed that while Connery was being professional, he was just doing this last appearance for the paycheck. Jill St. John’s performance as Tiffany Case was fine, but frankly her role in the film did not make sense as she went from being smart to sexy to stupid back to sexy to something that is all three and shows the overall problems with the film’s story. Charles Gray’s portrayal of Blofeld was not as good as Savalas’ but given the material he had it was still better than Pleasence’s portrayal two films before. The highlight of the film might have been Bruce Glover and Putter Smith’s Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd, witty assassins who killed in intriguing ways while being subtly portrayed as gay lovers though why they were killing the smugglers wasn’t really given explanation. While many people dislike the duo, yet to me they make the film somewhat memorable. Finally, Jimmy Dean’s portrayal of the pseudo-Howard Hughes was a nice for what little time he was on the screen.
Diamonds Are Forever was an end of an era installment of the franchise, but one that limped to it’s finished. Connery was professional in his swansong, but one feels he was calling it in. Add to that the overall plot and the suddenly pacing change at the end of the film, the overall product created was probably the worst of the franchise to date. However, if you have two hours to spare it’s an okay spy film to take up the time.